Learning from Jose: Where Are We Going?

Most dog owners know there are few things that get their pooch more excited than hearing the word “ride”.  Jose is no different– any time he sees me gathering my keys and putting on my shoes, he is prancing close to my side, just begging me to take him along. 

The thing that I find fascinating is that he doesn’t really seem to care where we are going to end up.  He doesn’t fret over whether we are heading to the vet or to the office so he can meet and snuggle more new people. He just stands up on his little paws and grins into the wind. 

I think there is a valuable lesson there: don’t attach yourself too intently to a specific outcome at the onset. Many divorce clients come in saying “I want the house!” But they haven’t thought about whether they can really afford to upkeep the house or whether that is the best solution.  They become so attached to one outcome that they often times do not even stop to consider other alternatives. 

Though it may seem counter-intuitive to encourage someone to focus on the journey of divorce, I think the way the Collaborative Divorce Process is practiced, there is actually much to be gained from doing so.  Unlike in traditional litigation, the journey of the Collaborative Divorce Process is focused on growth– as individuals, as co-parents, and as a family.  The Collaborative Divorce Process pushes divorcing couples to learn how to better communicate going forward, as well as to step back and examine all of the possible outcomes, without attaching to one from the onset. 

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